Jealousy doesn’t always have to be a bad thing – but if it is, you need to reign it in! The receiving partner is likely to resent having so little trust put in them, and may begin to feel suffocated or controlled. It is an instinct showing that something is important and valuable. I can say it's one of the worst feelings to experience. Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional? And if you love someone, you notice if that person is not around. - join a group I am actually aware of having this problem myself. Avoid situations that are likely to arouse false suspicions. It’s completely natural to find other people attractive, but it’s not okay to act upon that attraction or do something about it. We can all sound so composed and secure and comfortable in our own skin, that being jealous is considered as something to be ashamed of, but when something undesirable happens to you, your reaction may be totally different. (Hons), Copyright © 2014-2020 LifeAdvancer. You might feel you’re unable to trust them – or start to feel rejected and unloved. I do that, and it seems never to be enough. Especially a narcissist. She holds an honours bachelor of science degree in Psychology with Education from the University of South Wales. Please see. Without a fear of loss, including jealousy, we stop caring about everything, and then life has very little point. (Again, this really only works if you’re confident that your partner’s loyal and there’s no real basis to your feelings). If so, then it is a sign that your jealousy has exceeded the normal limit and that you have a lot to work on. If you’re feeling overwhelming jealousy toward your partner’s attractive desk mate or ex-girlfriend (and you know you a thousand percent have nothing to worry about), there are exercises you can do to deal with it. More than feelings of fear, jealous also leads to a smorgasbord of other emotions such as anger, hate of love 'rivals', disgust (sometimes self-disgust), and hopelessness. The last thing you need is someone lashing out at you the moment you ask them to quickly text you if they stay out late. - you misinterpret something and then your confidence is gone. - get off the couch Everyone has a different ability to handle it. Try to become aware of your feelings and start to think about what is making you feel this way. I'm terribly jealous, but mine stemmed from finding my husband having an online love affair 3 different times (those are just the ones I found... imagine the others I didn't find). Try to ascertain if they are legitimate feelings by considering the reality of your current relationship - or whether they are feelings that are unresolved from past relationships. Finding the time to talk through what you’re going through with your partner is also definitely a step in the right direction. When fear lessens, so does jealousy. Most of the time, we confuse love with the obsession with controlling everything at every step. Instead, try to have an open conversation with your partner, asking for guidance. Hope you can do the same. It may inspire someone to become more involved in the relationship, in order to dispel uncertainty and a possible competitor. - exercise But jealousy can go seriously awry. With people, if you don't care if a certain person is in your life, you may not even notice if you haven't talked to the person in a year. Before he did those things, I was not a jealous person. Of course not. Jealousy by itself and in low amounts isn't always a bad thing? Quiz: How important is trust to you in a relationship? It is because we will react as if our imaginary scenarios are rooted in reality.